How To Lose Weight (In Many Complicated Steps)

Yeah, diet and exercise is one way to lose weight, as is declining food and drink late and telling the nice barista that no, you don't want whipped cream on your Mocha FrappuCappuLatteccino. However, another way to do it...and of course this is totally hypothetical.....is wasting copious amounts of money on wine, women, and song (not necessarily in that order) rarely checking one's bank balance, buying drinks for strangers, picking up tabs, staying out in Seohyeon, um, going out evenings, keeping poor financial records, and one day waking up and realizing that one can't cut anything else of significance from one's budget and consequently, in order to ensure the viability of a forthcoming obligatory international trip, largely forgoing public transportation for several weeks and walking when one might have taken the bus or subway. Again....TOTALLY hypothetical, cough, cough.

unusual/racist story in textbook

So there was a video scene in a kid asked her "mother" what time it was. The girl was south Asian-perhaps Indian or from Pakistan and the lady was African-American. The kids noticed the difference and large numbers of them snickered. There is another character in the book who is African-American so I know the kids weren't snickering just because there was a black character. They started snickering when the black lady entered the scene, after they had already seen the south Asian girl. I really don't know what GEPIK was thinking. Was their intention that it seem that the black lady had adopted a south Asian girl or were they downplaying the difference in color between the two females? I really don't know what they were doing but it seems really misguided.

brain droppings...

Some interesting things with very little relation to one another, but at least worth writing down:

• Today went into a police station-my crime is having loved pajeon too much-and it was abandoned. The door was open but it was cleared out. There were a couple of small desks, but that was it. The door was open, there were no barriers telling you that you couldn't go in, so me and a fellow English teacher just walked right in. I just can't imagine seeing that in the States. I imagine they are re-modeling or moving to a larger building. If a police station was closed in the States, I imagine the security around it would be quite tight and certainly there would be no way to physically get into the station. I can't really remember ever having seen an empty police station. It reminded me of that Stephen King movie "The Langoliers where passengers disembark into an abandoned airport. Very strange to just be able to walk around in an abandoned police station.


• The Korean word for apple is the same word as that for apology. Consequently, in order to atone for something wrong, Koreans sometimes give someone an apple. It has obviously a bit of a double meaning. Also, the Korean word for Grandma is harmony. I found that out last year when I read it while teaching the kids. It was written in English and the kids said, "teacher, Grandma!". I thought that was nice because obviously Grandmas are often associated with all things nice.


• The Korean word for "friend" is the same as the "f" word in Spanish. A bit ironic really, and it makes me giggle when I think about how I could possibly get out of a tight situation in southern California if I said that-"dude, you're my friend-if we were in Korea" "Oh, you barely got out of that one dude." "Nah, I'm for real, the Korean word for friend is chingu." "Well, you better get your ass outta here 'fore I change my mind."


• You haven't really been embarrassed until you've had to explain what the word "d***head" is.


• Had to tell a Korean friend that the Irish word "craic" cannot be used with "my" or "your" or "his" (or "a"), because its meaning could easily be misconstrued and so it must be used solely with "the".


• Went to Songtan recently which is where the Osan Air Force Base is. I have to say, it was as if I could do what Dorothy did and tap my heels together and be transported to another place. That place would have been Anytown, USA. Yeah, it was cool for an evening, perhaps even one evening every couple of months. But not more than that. Itaewon is Gyeongbokgung compared to Songtan. I didn't see an awful lot of Koreans where we were hanging out. Again, not complaining because it wasn't bad to have a fatty burger and home comforts, but I don't think I am into doing it too often. It's just not Korea.


• It's really strange understanding so little of what goes on around one. The longer time goes on, the less I understand. Which is cool because when you're so clueless about what's going on because well, I'm just so ignorant that I can't be accountable for stuff, but not having ANY idea what people are talking about is a bit....well, I can't put my finger on it, but the Roots song "It Don't Feel Right" comes to mind. However, as Newton's Third Law of Motion indicated, for each action there is an equal and opposite reaction. OK, so my becoming more unaware of what's going on around me isn't really a physical force (I'm just gifted that way...), but still, I've been going to a language exchange group the last couple of weeks and have been able to use some of the Korean I've picked up from studying. I don't know tons of Korean, but I do know quite a few words and I can read and write a bit, but didn't have too much opportunity to speak Korean at the hagwon last year because so much English was spoken there. Anyway, it's great to be learning some Korean and knowing that all the studying I did last year is bearing some fruit. I was reading the sentences in my book and I could pronounce them quite well and could read decently also. Anyway...fingers crossed on that.

at the cinema

Like Vincent wisely said about the difference between Europe and the States in Pulp Fiction (and I think it's largely true regarding South Korea and the States), "it's the little differences. They have the same sh** there that they have here, but there it's just a little different."

For example, at the theater I went to recently to see Shutter Island, one had to take a ticket to line up and get a ticket. There was no one at the counter and not an awful lot of people around. It reminded me of that great scene in Meet the Parents Ben Stiller's weekend at his prospective in-laws has crashed to a halt and he fumes while a punctilious clerk runs through the routine of the checks she has to do in spite of the fact that he's the only passenger.

Anyway, one goes up to the ticket counter and tries to buy the ticket. It was just two foreigners, neither of whom speak a lot of Korean....but fortunately many of the movies are just Koreanized versions of English names so indicating which film we wanted to see wasn't too much of a challenge.

But in Korea one has to choose one's specific seat. So the ticket clerk turned the monitor around and I indicated lamely where we wanted to sit-cheogi (there!). They have all kinds of healthy refreshments at some theaters although I don't remember whether they did at this one. The portions aren't so huge though. No 64 ounce sodas or popcorn that requires its own seat. Sometimes they have apples and bananas and other things which are better for kids than monster servings of popcorn and nachos. The theaters are quite nice though at least the auditoriums I've been in have fewer seats than many in the States. The seats are a little bit cushier.

lack of vandalism in Korea a.k.a I'm really, really, gobsmacked that computer screens at bus stops are not smashed by dopey kids or hopped-up adults

Never ceases to amaze me how stuff in the public domain here is respected. They have computer screens at many bus stops here telling people when the next bus is coming. I have never seen one that had been beaten with a bat. Perhaps it's an indicator of my western cynicism that it's so amazing to me that I've never seen one vandalized but there it is. I'd say it'd take, oh, 11.6 seconds for one of those screens at a bus stop in the States to be attacked by a hopped-up 17 year-old kid feelin' his rocks, or maybe by some "grown-up" with a substance abuse problem. It just doesn't happen here. It's really cool but every time I see it, it just blows my mind simply coz it's so different from the States.

On another similar point, they have a batting cage at my subway station and they leave the bats in each of the four cages. No one is there watching over them. No one takes the bats. No one. They have batting gloves there. No one takes those either. Again, I'm just amazed coz again, I think it'd take approximately, oh 42 seconds for someone to run off with the bats in the States. When one went to a batting cage in the States, one had to give the clerk one's driver's license and then one'd get a bat. Obviously one could use one's own bat if one wanted, but they wouldn't DARE leave a bat out there unguarded. Some dope would run off with that bat in, oh, 42 seconds. Again, I guess it's just very impressive to me that this stuff can sit out there in public and be unstolen.

jjimjilbang

That funny-looking word (to our western eyes) is the Korean word for a public bathhouse complex in Korea. At the jjimjilbang, they have spas, saunas, massage tables, and often, in another part of the complex, they have a PC bang (a large room with many computers where kids often go to play Internet games very cheaply), and a noraebang (a private room available quite cheaply where people choose songs which are then played on a video screen and with which one can sing along to. Often, one can purchase drinks and/or snacks to consume in the room.)

Anyway, I just went to the jjimjilbang. It was great. I will be going back a lot. I've always like hot tubs and saunas and I've found them very relaxing but I don't think I've ever been to a sauna, or a public bathhouse, for that matter. I had done my research online to find out what the customs and norms were so that I didn't upset some naked Korean men and that I didn't look like a completely clueless foreigner and I don't think I did anything wrong. Anyway, one goes into the complex and pays a very small fee (in this case, only 7000 won (about $6)) and one's given a receipt and a key. You put your shoes in the first battery of lockers and take the key to a front desk, inside the spa area. There they give you a key and you can lock up all your valuables and put the key (on a wristband) around your arm and you're off to the spas. The place I went to had one fair sized spa with jets. There were a couple of very hot baths where one could soak and there were two cool baths also-one VERY cold and the other only mildly cold. There were also two sauna rooms, one @ 79 degrees Celsius, and the other 57 degrees Celsius. There is also a massage table where one can get a massage (unfortunately of course, from someone of the same gender (although I guess some people would get more sensual pleasure out of this than most of us)) for an additional fee. There are several shower areas also. By the way, if you do go to the spa, make sure you DO SHOWER FIRST. This is perhaps the most basic rule of etiquette when visiting the jjimjilbang.

Everyone's naked there obviously and no one seemed the slightest bit insecure about this. I wasn't really. Once one realizes that we're all playing with the same equipment, really, what's all that shocking? Anyway, jjimjilbangs are popular family outing destinations here in Korea and so of course in the spa area there were a couple of 8-9 year old boys. In typical little boy fashion, they were more interested in jumping into the cold water than sitting still and relaxing like most of the men who were there. After I had boiled in the hottest pool, I went into the coldest pool to chill and the two boys were splashing around in there. They ask me where I'm from and I tell them and I saw their father looking over their way but since I'm used to humoring kids all day, it was no problem. I smiled at them, they smiled at me. That was about it. If I knew more Korean, maybe I'd have said a bit to the other men, but I don't know much. Anyway, that's all I spoke while I was in the bathhouse.

However, after I'd cooked a while and decided that was enough, I left. They have an area where they have a few hairdryers and toiletries where one can get back to normal a bit. The towels are small. I've found this in Korea. If in a catered location, the towels I've been given have been more like hand towels in the west. I guess just different strokes for different folks. I didn't actually need a second towel but what can I say, I still like a typically western towel. So after drying off and putting my clothes on there was a baseball game on, so I watched a bit. I got to see my man Hee Seop Choi, who used to play for the Dodgers and who has very successfully resumed his playing career back here in Korea, drive in a run against the NEXEN Heroes. I don't know if they have a sleeping area at this jjimjilbang but it was a very relaxing experience all the same. I've slept at a jjimjilbang before. The floors are heated by Ondol and one lays on a mat on the floor. It's a nice, relaxing environment in which to sleep. I can't believe it was all only about $6. Anyway, any wayguks reading this, I really recommend the jjimjilbangs.

second day of school

First day of teaching is over here. It’s a little early to make any broad generalizations, but after first couple days, I can say:

• Teaching kids at a much lower English level. They’re all excitable and of course they’re amazed that I’m tall and have hazel eyes, but they can’t say much more in English than “Hi teacher” or “Nice to meet you.” That said, teaching seems really nice. I think I’m going to enjoy it. My co-teacher has a lot of experience and seems really nice. I think I’m gonna like it here. That said, I could see the Devil outside my door and think, well, “I think I could take him."


• You knew it was gonna come back to food with me; the kids eat in their homerooms here, with their teachers. Lunch food is good and very cheap. Today we had a chicken stew, kimchi, strawberries, rice, all for under $2. Yesterday rice, kimchi, apples, seaweed, some meat. I love Rialto but I don’t miss dried food that is made of who knows what. Fresh ingredients is where it’s at.


• Kids are very polite here. I’m sure part of that is a cultural difference or the fact that it’s early days yet. I imagine the kids will be better behaved than my gangstas with hearts of gold in Rialto, but I guess we'll see. There's something to be said for ignorance. It's good not to know what people are saying about you because perhaps you wouldn't like what they were saying anyway.


• I really wish I could speak more Korean. This year there are of course fewer native English speakers with me so I will have to do even more listening. It's frustrating to hear conversations that sound like a lot of fun and everyone else is getting into....and I sit there grinning like a doofus. It’s only two days of school so far so I’m sure I’ll get to know some of my co-workers better anyway, but it's frustrating. And if I practice, I’m sure I can learn Korean. And if I don't, as Led Zep says, it's "Nobody’s Fault But Mine." I like that-it puts me the responsibility on to me.