Serpice-uh center WIN

Here in Korea, they have service centers where, if your Sony phone or if your Samsung phone, or whichever product you happen to have bought from your local friendly multinational conglomerate gives out on you, they'll fix it. I have a Samsung phone and when I recently accidentally locked it I went down to the nearby service center and took a number. I was the only non-Korean there and after sitting in the waiting area about 15 minutes and having nearly reached my number, one of the receptionists came out and told me, in that adorable, halting, it-sounds-like-a-question-but-it's-actually-a-statement-way-that-Asians-speaking-English-as-a-second-language-do "we will help you in under 10 minutes". Fine...thank you! I've waited at DMVs, car-repair shops, and in every manner of office and have very rarely had anyone come out and let me know how much longer I'd be waiting. Actually, if they did that, I'd think they had a bit of a wicked, sadistic sense of humor given how long I've often had to wait for things and I might have punched them, ha ha. Seriously though......so I do wait under 10 minutes for what is, I'm sure, a completely pedestrian conversation simply asking what is wrong with the phone. I'm by myself though, and so the conversation isn't that pedestrian. It turns into a tortured 5 or 6 minute (actually, I don't know how long it was....I felt the walls of the universe creeping in, time was moving so slowly and there was so little exchange of information) summit, neither of us speaking meaningful amounts of the other person's language and consequently relying on dreamt-up, hoped-for, imagined body movements which we might be able to construe as revealing the other person understood what was being said. Honestly, this was another moment when my lack of Korean speaking knowledge really annoyed me. I could understand a few words she said but then couldn't respond....anyway. Finally however, because the lady couldn't help me too much, she gave me to understand that another company representative would take care of my situation.

So in the meantime, I go back to the waiting area and...well.....I won't say that I'd intentionally harm my phone just to go to the service center but they could really start to change the image of waiting rooms if word on how hospitable Samsung's service center is gets out! They had a machine for making your run-of-the-mill Starbucks variety coffee drinks, they had multiple computers at which folks were sipping their coffees and whiling the time away-one lady looking at dresses, a man looking at directions for something. They had six comfortable leather armchairs, a water dispenser, and a wide variety of magazines (which I ALWAYS read for the pictures).

Perhaps I sound like a naïf to you but seeing a waiting room with this array of stuff was pretty impressive to me. It did, as I said, somewhat take the bite out of, you know…waiting. And after only a few minutes surveying the latest baseball scores and seeing what was wrong with the world via the Huffington Post, this associate came to me with my phone unlocked. Again, and this is not to damn the United States by comparison, but personal care, nicely appointed waiting rooms, and prompt service…seriously, if I want some good coffee, I may just have to try and disable my phone this coming week!

Hahoe Folk Village

On a recent weekend I went to Hahoe Folk Village. What a place! It’s a UNESCO-protected village founded early during the Joseon dynasty (1592-1910). It’s notable today because a lot of the structures have remained unchanged since their construction. Many of the houses’ roofs, both thatched and slanted, remain in excellent condition. I was down there in order to take advantage of the Andong Mask Festival and see some of the masks which have played a prominent role in Korean culture for many years.

During September in Andong-about a three hour drive south of Seoul-there is a festival centered around the of Korean mask. At the festival, one can sample a variety of Korean foods, can buy traditional Korean gifts, can make one’s own mask, and can also take in some musical and dramatic performances at a large stage in the center of the festival. I didn't stay in Andong too long because I wasn’t sure how long it would take to adequately see Hahoe and that was the main purpose for my trip. For this reason, I soon headed off on the 45 minute shuttle ride to Hahoe. It is quite rural and situated on the Nandong river. There are some spots nearby from which you can get amazing views of the village and the surrounding countryside.

Seeing the old houses and the tree (known as Samsindang) that dates from the time of the founding of the village wa wonderful. The village is, as noted, out in the sticks a bit, which for me was wonderful. I love Seoul but at times the never-ending press of people can be overwhelming and it’s lovely to get away from the hustle and bustle. It doesn’t take a great deal of imagination to imagine what the village was like 500 years ago because the area hasn’t developed too much. There is a very informative mask museum in Hahoe which has masks from all over the world. The museum is fully captioned in English as well as Korean so non-Koreans can enjoy and learn about the variety of masks and how and why they came to exist. It’s very interesting to learn how and why masks are significant in their cultures.

Walking through the Folk Village of Hahoe is akin to stepping into a time machine. Old walls, tiny lanes, and only the slightest hint of tourism-several road-side stands hawking Andong’s famous soju (Korea’s national alcoholic drink, a grain-based drink which is made stronger in Andong), masks, figurines, and a variety of other traditional Korean gifts. The houses are well-maintained to a large extent. I saw two houses which had fallen into disrepair and I walked most of the village. I don’t know which regulations compel the upkeep of the village other than pride in its history. That would seem to be a pretty compelling force, to the benefit of visitors and to the credit of Korea. The landscaping of some of the properties also only enhances the beauty of the village.

Truly, coming out to rural Korea, seeing how a village would have looked in Korea 500 years ago, and being able to see the mask festival made for a great day.

Ill communication

Like the Beastie Boys said in 'Root Down', "Like Ma Bell, we got the Ill Communication." Well, my communication here is ill quite a bit of the time, but most of the time it doesn't bother me. Most of the time I just lay back and wait for my cue to talk...then I do my English teacher thing...then I go back into mental hibernation. It's not hard work and it used to annoy me that I couldn't understand anything but when I stopped worrying, work actually went better anyway.

But from time to time, there are moments of serious frustration at my ignorance of the language. One of those times was when I went into a hair salon recently. When I came to Korea, I had decided that getting a hair cut was something about which one couldn't afford to have miscommunication. It was something about which I didn't want any miscommunication and so I set about finding a place where the barber would be able to speak English. I found a place in Itaewon (for those in country-it's on the road which Roofers is on, and from which Hooker Hill turns off) where the barber had been a barber for five years in Britain and so I knew there wouldn't be any fear of having him unexpectedly chopping massive holes in my scalp on the grounds that he thought that was what I wanted. I've gone to this guy steadily for 21 months now. He does a great job and my attitude about most things is "why fix what's not broken?" But it's a little far away and one day I was around my home and thought I could probably communicate adequately what I wanted in a hair cut without making a trip into Seoul.

So I went into a salon near my house and went to the reception desk. The salon itself was quite nice. It was quite spacious, the waiting area had some comfy-looking sofas and there were probably six or seven hair-cutting stations. The lady at the reception desk asked me, I presume, what I wanted. Of course I don't KNOW that's what she said and if I had responded, it would have been in the broken language which I too often have to employ. I guess most of the time this doesn't bother me but being in an unfamiliar environment, I felt a little more stupid than usual and obviously I didn't KNOW what the lady was asking me. I said something like "cut-uh, cut-uh", hoping this was a universally understood term for getting a trim, but instead I got a blank stare. This isn't really surprising because obviously I don't speak Korean well but I was hoping that because I was at a hair salon that it'd be self-evident what I wanted and that I'd be understood. Obviously that didn't happen though and since I really had no follow-up ready in my Konglish arsenal, I felt a little off-balance and awkward. I feebly, very unconvincingly, repeated, "cut-uh, cut-uh" but with less conviction this time.

At this point, the lady probably now thought not only that I was probably crap at Korean, but also that maybe I was trying to take her scissors. So finally I just mumbled something about choesong hamnida (sorry) and stumbled out like Napoleon Dynamite.

Anyway, as I said, most of the time, not knowing Korean too well doesn't annoy me. And all's well that ends well, as I ended up going to a nice salon and chatting to a cute Korean girl and I actually had a little conversation with her in Korean! Ha! So the lesson here is either shave one's head or learn Korean better, ha ha.

a night in Seoul

Quite a night last night. Went for some coffee first and had some Patbingsu which I’d never had before. It was very good. It's a popular Korean dessert which is very nice during the summer as it is nice and cold and refreshing. It includes corn flakes, ice cream, 떡 (rice cake), fresh fruit, and quite often, ice shavings. Here's a pic of what we had. One mixes all the ingredients together and it's really really good, cold and refreshing during the wearying Seoul summer.

Just down the road from this coffee place was Chois' Tacos where we got some burritos. I dunno if I'd say it was the best burrito I've had in Korea-Tomatillo Grill is incredible, my couple of experiences at Dos Tacos have been wonderful, and the three times I've been to Taco Family in Itaewon have all been excellent, but it was a fantastic burrito. I think given the multiple times I've been to Taco Family and the quality of the food there, make it my highest-ranked burrito place. The only knock I'd give to Dos Tacos (and again, this is really nitpicking) was that the burrito I had there once was just a bit on the small side. Tomatillo Grill was just excellent. But Chois' Tacos, wow. All fresh ingredients, well-made, didn't fall apart. Just unbelievably good.

So then we went to a fine 술집 (bar) quite popular with westerners and 교보 (folks of Korean descent who have citizenship in another country) and ordered some fine Hite and played games and generally had a laugh. We played one game where this spring-loaded clown head was on top of a body into which one had to put some keys. The head would only come off if one put in the right key. If one lost, one had to drink. I lost four times and so, had to drink a beer in one shot four times. That was alright-in fact, as punishments go, it's one of the more pleasant ones. However, one guy, who I'll call M, couldn't handle his drinky. He ended up face down next to the porcelain god. He had been telling his new friend (who I'll call J) how much he loved him, would take a bullet for him, how he understood him for quite some time. Anyway, so J and I, after M had been in there a few minutes, go and check up on him (meantime I was kickin' ASS in darts, lol). M is a big guy, as tall as me but a bit slimmer. So he's in the cubicle, face down, totally gone. We give him some time, and we're standing around him, both of us, in this small cubicle. At one point I started telling J, in my best M imitation, just how much I loved him. Honestly, what is one to do to kill time while waiting for a passed out guy to hopefully come to? After about 15 minutes, we encourage him to get up, we try and pick him up (it's the only stall in the men's john and a guy has arrived and has to GO). Perhaps our attempt to pick M up catalyzed his digestive tract.....and he puked.

We hoped that might be the tonic he needed to get up, but no. So we leave the guy there for a few more minutes. It's next to impossible to pick him up because he's so big and with two of us in the stall, we can barely get the room we need to pick him up but yet he's big enough that two of us are really needed. We come back a few minutes later and try again. This time he's cursing at us and just when we nearly have him up (I grabbed him under the arms and just about have him up), he slaps J in the face. At that point, it just seems this is a losing battle. I put him down. So then, J's ex-girlfriend comes into the stall and using her feminine wiles, tries to be a bit more persuasive in separating him from the floor. However it becomes increasingly obvious that there's gonna be no moving him for now. M is quite content kissing the cold white floor, for now. So after waiting another 15 minutes, we don't know what to do and we go. Honestly, what are we supposed to do? We couldn't budge him, we didn't make him unable to handle his drinky. We found out that the staff roused him and put him in a cab later.

Anyway, so the mood of the group had soured a bit after this episode. We were annoyed we couldn't move M and there was the issue of the break-up of J and his girl (who I'll call H), which happened that night, and as we spilled out onto the barriers at the side of the road, the uneasiness was quite clear, at least to me. I tried to encourage everyone else to head off to another drinking establishment or hof or something coz J had told me he wanted to go. It was obvious it was going to happen sooner or later. J and H had to talk and they were in another place mentally from the rest of us, so it shoulda been wise to head out and find another place in Seoul that serves some grown-up beverages....but folks stood around, wanting to help the nice girl, and dissolve some of the tension that had built-up and make everything OK on this gorgeous clear Sunday morning. However, all the well-wishing in the world wouldn't make everything OK. J and H had to deal with whatever they had to deal with and it was helping no one for us to hang around. Anyway, finally the group was able to make its break and let J and H talk things out. We headed to a hof where we had some 오징어학오, 지긴학오, 소주 (chicken, squid, and soju). A good time was finally had by all although some of the group were fading by about 3 or 3:30 o'clock. Some of us lasted all through the night though, heavily fortified by soju. We stepped into Seoul's breaking light around 5 o'clock, somewhat drowsy, but vowing to do it all again, in spite of the negative parts of the night. It was a wonderful night in Seoul, a painful night, an enjoyable night, it was a night in Seoul.

Just a few thoughts tangentially related to Korea......

• So the other day, I was at the Itaewon subway station after getting some Mexican food and a nice Negra Modelo when I bump into this friend who I'll call Fred. He's an English guy and so as we wait for the train, we chat a bit. He then introduces me to his American friend who I'll call Steve. Fred explains that I am a curious English/American hybrid and Steve says that he doesn't hear an American accent. I nearly wanted to kiss Steve at that point but, uh, he wasn't my type, ha. So then Fred says to Steve, well, you can have him. So once again, I'm neither British enough for Brits, nor American enough for Americans, a point that was roundly re-asserted to me during the World Cup when I really didn't know which team's colors I'd wear. I feel British and my passport says I am, but let's be honest, I've lived in California nearly 20 years and I love the place and I don't sound particularly British, I don't think. I like lots of things that Californians like, in many ways I am a Californian. And honestly, I'd like to be able to vote. I've never voted in my life. But living 12 of my first 16 years in one country, in my case Blighty has an effect on a person. As they say, you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. The norms and mores I absorbed as a kid were by and large British. I may not sound British, but I feel it, regardless of which passport I might hold. Honestly, the words of John Lennon's "Imagine" - "imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do..." is a really wonderful thought for me.



• So I don't think I'll ever get fully used to the different attitudes toward personal space in Korea (i.e. people can practically get to first base with you and it's not supposed to be an issue if you're in a public space) but I have adapted to a large degree. However, something happened the other day that was just strange. I had been in the supermarket and was taking the escalator down to the street level. I'd just got on, was probably 5 or 6 feet onto it and some guy walks on and puts his back against my back and pushes his trunk against my trunk. It was a bit strange. I turned around slowly but deliberately so the guy knew I wasn't too please and the guy overtook me and went on his way. There was no one else on the 80-90 ft. escalator and he literally was pressed up against me. It was...well....I've been felt up, um, I mean, I've ridden the subway enough here, that it's not a big deal. It was just weird.



• I have now seen lines onto the street for Taco Bell. The end must be near. Seriously though, in Itaewon, a Taco Bell has opened up. Those of you in Korea who think Taco Bell is some admirable iteration of Mexican food, ignore Taco Bell and across the street from it and down about 10 meters is a restaurant called Taco Family which is a fantastic Mexican joint. A wide variety of burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas, chimichangas that are much heartier, bigger, and more satisfying than those served at Plastic Mexican Food Joint. The decor is that of a stereotypical Mexican casa, the ol' Mexico style. Anyway, the portions are thousands of times bigger and much more satisfying. They serve beer also.

How To Lose Weight (In Many Complicated Steps)

Yeah, diet and exercise is one way to lose weight, as is declining food and drink late and telling the nice barista that no, you don't want whipped cream on your Mocha FrappuCappuLatteccino. However, another way to do it...and of course this is totally hypothetical.....is wasting copious amounts of money on wine, women, and song (not necessarily in that order) rarely checking one's bank balance, buying drinks for strangers, picking up tabs, staying out in Seohyeon, um, going out evenings, keeping poor financial records, and one day waking up and realizing that one can't cut anything else of significance from one's budget and consequently, in order to ensure the viability of a forthcoming obligatory international trip, largely forgoing public transportation for several weeks and walking when one might have taken the bus or subway. Again....TOTALLY hypothetical, cough, cough.

unusual/racist story in textbook

So there was a video scene in a kid asked her "mother" what time it was. The girl was south Asian-perhaps Indian or from Pakistan and the lady was African-American. The kids noticed the difference and large numbers of them snickered. There is another character in the book who is African-American so I know the kids weren't snickering just because there was a black character. They started snickering when the black lady entered the scene, after they had already seen the south Asian girl. I really don't know what GEPIK was thinking. Was their intention that it seem that the black lady had adopted a south Asian girl or were they downplaying the difference in color between the two females? I really don't know what they were doing but it seems really misguided.